Teen Titans meet HARRY POTTER: Season Three
by Catspee
Summary: The last year of Harry Potter and his friends. Will you be there to witness all the crazy things that happen like orgys, parties, house elves, demons, 2012, and Voldemort? Read and Review!
1. One more time people

**Teen Titans meet HARRY POTTER: Season 3 **

Holy shit guy! SEASON THREE! Well, the bitches are in their 7th year now. Nikki is in her 3rd, Blood and Poly are in their 5th.

Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer for the whole story. I do not own Teen Titans and Harry Potter, or any of the special appearances of bitches I feel like putting in this story for a while for the hell of it. Shit, that was kind of long.

Chapter 1

It was a happy day outside. Kids at the age of 8 were running around the neighborhood Harry lived in, naked. They were humping on each other, and Harry was scarred.

"Just what the fuck is going on?" he asked while he was giving the Dursley's their breakfast.

"Shut the fuck up and give us our breakfast!" cried Dudley. "FOOD. FOOD. FOOD." He chanted like the fat pig he was.

"Shut the fuck up Dudley stop chanting or my period stank will destroy you," said Petunia.

Harry sighed, it was the same old shit everyday since he gotten back from Hogwarts.

"Well bitches, I have to piss," said Harry.

"Piss on Dudley," said Vernon.

"What? Has Petunia given you a horrible blowjob?" asked Harry.

"SILENCE YOU IMBECILE!" screamed Petunia as she showed off her cleavage.

"Oh fuck this!" exclaimed Harry. "I'm going to be 17 tomorrow, and I'm leaving you fucking bitches!" Harry went Resident Evil 4, and banged on the lock that was preventing him from getting his magical crap.

"Fuck you Harry! I'm glad your magical ass is going to be out of here!" exclaimed Vernon as he gave Harry the middle finger.

Harry then cracked open the lock, grabbed his stuff, and kicked Vernon in the balls.

"Good riddance you fat wannabe pimp!" exclaimed Harry. He gave Vernon the middle finger.

"OUCH!" screamed Vernon in pain.

"You don't say ouch you god damn hippy! YOU MOAN OOH YES!" screamed Harry as he barged out of there. Out there in that cruel world, he saw eight year olds having sex.

"You disgusting bitches!" Harry started. "STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER IN FRONT OF A 17 YEAR OLD! YOU BITCHES ARE RUINING MY LIFE I HATE YOU FUCKING LITTLE KIDS!"

The eight year olds pull away from each other, and ran away crying like a bunch of pussies. A nun tapped on Harry's back.

"Mister! It is in the bible that eight year olds can having hot kinky sex in front of number 4 Privet Drive!" the nun spoke with disgust, Harry slapped her.

"THE BIBLE IS 2006 YEARS OLD AND MORE! BY NOW THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE LIED TO US BY THE WAY OF CHRIST!" screamed Harry as he walked off.

"Well fuck you! MAY YOU GO TO HELL!" screamed the nun.

"I ALREADY BEEN TO HELL!" screamed Harry back as he gave the nun the middle finger.

Harry was walking down the road, cursing like shit.

"Mother fuckers think they're big and old enough to have sex, Petunia sucks at oral, Dudley is fucking moron. Fucking bitches, I want sex with Raven now," he muttered. Suddenly, he bumped into Raven.

"Hello my sexiness," said Raven.

"RAVEN!" screamed Harry, he grabbed Raven and started making out with her.

"Harry is fucking well at scoring," said Cyborg as he came out of Raven's mouth, and jumped out and fell on the ground crying. "MOMMY I HAVE A BOO BOO!"

Cho appeared.

"I'll fix that honey," said Cho as she kissed Cyborg's boo boo.

"Thanks baby," said Cyborg as he started making out with Cho.

Robin and Starfire suddenly walked into the scene, and Robin took out a picture of jaws attacking a couple.

"JAWS DISAPPROVE!" screamed Robin.

"Fuck off you is a jealous bitch," said Cyborg.

"Whatever the fuck you say," said Robin.

"Aw great. Last year was Terra and Raven, now Robin and Cyborg?" asked Harry.

"Nah we're just fucking with you," said Robin.

"BITCH!" screamed Harry.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MAN A BITCH YOU…. YOU MAN-WHORE!" screamed Starfire. Raven gasped.

"DON'T CALL MY BOY TOY A WHORE!" cried Raven.

"I DO NOT CARE HE CALLED MY MAN A BITCH!" screamed Starfire back.

"SHIT NOW IT'S RAVEN AGAINST STARFIRE! LET'S JUST GET ALONG BITCHES!" screamed Harry.

"WELL FUCK YOU!" screamed Cyborg.

"FUCK YOU TOO!" screamed Harry.

"DON'T CURSE AT MAH BOY BITCH!" screamed Cho.

"DON'T CALL MY BOY A BITCH YOU SLUT!" screamed Raven at Cho.

"FUCK YOU!" screamed Cho.

Terra watched this with amusement as she hid behind a tree.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT TREE YOU SKANK!" screamed Robin at her.

"FUCK!" screamed Terra as she fell down the tree.

Beast Boy then walked onto the scene.

"STOP BEING MEAN TO MY GIRL YOU BITCHES!" screamed Beast Boy.

Poly then barged into the scene with Blood.

"Guys, let's stop screaming at each other and let's have an orgy," said Poly. Poly then tried to get the titans to have an orgy, but that failed.

Harry then stuck the middle finger at her.

"You just tried to rape us," said Harry.

"What do you mean? I want orgy," said Poly.

"But we're angry bitches today! Can't you see, I'm bleeding? I'm in PAIIINNN!" screamed Raven as she pointed to her vagina.

"Yes, we can see that sister dear," said Blood. "BUT I WANT ORGY TOO!"

"Well no orgy for you Blood! Bad Blood!" exclaimed Raven as she took the belt out of Harry's pants, and whipped Blood with the belt.

"Child abusive!" exclaimed the nun from before.

"Back off, you crazy bitch!" cried Starfire as she fired a lazar beam at the nun, causing her to die.

"Holy shit!" cried Robin as he poked Starfire's boobs.

"Thank you Robin, I needed that," said Starfire.

"You're welcomed, sexy," said Robin sexily in dark voice.

"Oh let's make love," said Starfire as she picked Robin off and flew off onto the distance out.

End of Chapter 1


	2. Super Dodgy' Artemis 85

Teen Titans meet... HARRY POTTER: Season 3

No matter what happens, I will finish this story before 2007.

Chapter 2

Our fellow Titans have went to aLondon Hotel, where yet again it was raining. Harry looked at through awindow in a London hotel he was staying in.

Raven then came into the dark room.

"Hey Harry," said Raven.

"Sup, nigga'," said Harry.

"Wha?"

"I had a dream Raven," Harry said as he looked into Raven's eyes in a sexy way.

"Yeah?"

"I was a two year old gangster in 'da Bronx with hippy clothing. I was smoking crack, weed, marijuna, ciggarettes, and ass.Then when I got high, I killed a 42 virgin white man who almost got laid... almost. I then got drunk with my homies, and we sang the star spangle banner," said Harry.

"That's some dream," said Raven.

"Yeah, let's go do it," said Harry sexily. But just before anything could happen, dementors barged in.

"Shit," said Harry. Raven then gave Harry her wand.

"Wow! Two wangs!" said the dementor.

"Whatever," said Harry. He then jumped out of the window and started firing at them.

The dementors followed Harry and used their 'PEOPLE GO SAD' ability. Harry, of course, was unaffected.

"Expecto Patronum!" cried Harry as the dementors went away. Harry then realized he was going to die. Again. But Raven used her powers to take Harry back up into the hotel room.

They then did the obvious.

**The next day at Diagon Alley**

"So what do we do?" asked Beast Boy.

"We buy clothes, dammit," said Robin.

"Nah, that's wack. The tighter our shit, the sexier," said Beast Boy.

"Uh... not on a guy," said Robin as he went to buy clothes.

"Whatever the fuck you say bitch," said Beast Boy as he started making out with Terra in the Leaky Cauldron.

Robin sighed, and continued to go buy clothes. When he finished, he came out looking like Neo.

"I am not longer Tick Tray, but Mr. Anderson," said Robin. "I AM THE ONE!"

"In your dreams!" said Pansy as she threw a lemon at Robin's ass.

"It's lemon day already? Shit." Robin looked down. He then looked up as Cyborg was singing.

"I want to go to Jamaica, where the skys are bluueee. I want to go to Jamaica, and be dat bumbleclot man.I want to eat 'da cockroaches dat tastle like chicken. Meow meow deliver! I want to go to Jamiaca, and live 'da good life. I want to go to Jamaica!" Cyborg sang. On his paper, Jamaica was the first place to go to on a honeymoon.

"What's with Jamaica?" asked Robin.

"I am half Jamaican! Don't fuck around with black people!" Cyborg.

"Alright. Do you mind if I go on a honeymoon with Starfire there?" asked Robin.

"Not at all! Jamaica is 'da nice place! Mr. Nice guy is from there! I bought marijuna from him once! Me and my bro's got so fucked up that day," said Cyborg. He then turned around and there was a little stand with _half-baked_ food.

"Oooh," said Robin.

"Well, I better go back to singing my Baraba- Jamaican songs," said Cyborg.

"Alright," said Robin again. He then started reading The Crucible.

Later, Beast Boy walked out with Terra telekinetickly stucked to him. There was a screaming Raven.

"YOU BITCH ASS BITCHES HOW DARE YOU FUCKING FUCK IN MY ROOM! RAUGHHHHHH!" Raven then went in and slammed a beer bottle on old man Jenkin's head, who just laughed out loud when he was hit.

"Abuse!" said Terra. She stuck the middle finger at Raven as she left.

"Oh not again! Dammit God!" cried Beast Boy, he looked up into the clouds.

"**That's for not going to church this summer! NOW GO TO CHURCH!" **said God.

"Wow, God's not like I pictured him to be," said Robin.

"Oh he totally is what you pictured him to be. He's just annoyed with all the bad things that are going on in the world," said Beast Boy.

"Okay, I believe you," said Robin.

Harry then walked into the streets of Diagon Alley and bitch slapped Beast Boy and the air.

"Ugh, I hate nice clear air! I love dirty poluted air 'cuz I'ma ghetto sexy biatch '_nikka_'!" said Harry. "Eww a green dude RAUGH PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT THAN ME I HATE THAT SHIT I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT!"

"PROBLEMS!" screamed Terra.

"I'm just fucking with you. I'm not a dumb 12 year old girl who thinks she's all that, wants to fuck everyone, and is self-centered," said Harry.

"HEY!" shouted Nikki as she jumped out of the window of the leaky cauldron. She landed in front of Harry matrix style with a kunai in her hand.

"But that's not you Nikki, you're 13, smart, feels bad when called spoiled, knows she's not all that, has dignity, and is a good girl," said Harry. He patted Nikki's head and said "Good dog!"

Nikki barked, and jumped back up the window.

Raven then came back onto the street, and took Terra off of Beast Boy.

"Thank god! Beast Boy was rubbing my ass to scratch his ass," said Terra. "Buttsex is gross Beast Boy!"

"It is?" asked Beast Boy.

"Ya rly," said Terra.

"Okay, I won't do it again."

"Well, I guess we better pack up for the train to Hogwarts," said Raven.

"Alright," said everyone. They then started packing up.

**The Next Day at Platfrom 9/3 quarters**

"WHEEE BARGING INTO WALLS AND CRASHING IS FUN!" screamed Starfire as she barged into the wall that lead to the magical train and vanished.

"Awww," said Starfire as she did not crash.

So the Hogwarts people packed their stuff in the train and the titans all stood in a cart together as the train moved.

"Shit, this is our last year here," Beast Boy. "It feels like yesterday we first came to the Great Hall, sang the Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts song, got sorted, and met our loves."

"Then someone steals Mr. Weasly's jelly he kept in his pocket for 10 years, Raven got kidnapped twice and so did Nikki. Then we went into Raven's mind, crazy shit happened, Blood appears and fight gangsters and a troll," said Robin.

"After that we had crazy ass classes, we kicked death eater and went dramatic when killinating Voldemort who then possessed people, Nikki went crazy and so did Raven. Killing the Code Lyoko people, a crazy ass party, a dramatic scene with Raven, Raven kicking her anger self's ass, Harry scoring, and Dumbledore being a teeny bopper," said Terra.

"ALRIGHT HARRY SCORED!" screamed Cyborg.

"THAT WASN'T SCORING YOU GAYBOT!" Harry's scream was heard all the way from the end of the train.

"Um, wow. Can we stop reminising or however its spelled?" asked Raven.

"No! This story needs more words than our first and second year combined!" cried Beast Boy. "About 40000 something."

"Er, whatever you say," said Raven.

"THE CHAPTERS ARE GONNA BE LONGER NOW BABY!" screamed Nikki.

"Okay! Okay! Shit," said Raven.

Later that day it was dark, and everyone had to change clothes.

"No peeping! Hehehehehe!" giggled Beast Boy.

As everyone smoked marijuna, crack, weed, ass, and whatever the fuck there is to smoke, Draco barged in, took pictures of BeastBoy, and ran out. "MWAHAHA NOW EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WILL BE GAY!"

"QUEER!" screamed Beast Boy as he started crying, he felt so violated.

"Cheer up Beast Boy, now chicks will want you even more," said Cyborg.

"Okay!" said Beast Boy.

End of Chapter 2


	3. MATH SUCKS TO THE 3rd POWER

TTMHP: Season 3

Chapter 3

The Titans were now on the carriage to Hogwarts.

"OH GOD MY LAST YEAR HERE SO SAD LIKE BAMBI!" cried Harry, he cried on Raven's cloak.

"Um. Yeah. Waaa," said Raven.

"MOMMY WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! FUCK YOU VOLDEMORT!" screamed Harry. As soon as Voldemort's name was mentioned, everyone who was a pussy when it came to Voldemort started crying.

"One day I will kill that son of a bitch... and get my revenge," said Harry.

**Meanwhile with Voldemort**

"I'd like to see you try Harry! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" laughed Voldemort evilly as he sat on his couch high on marijuna, ciggarettes, ass, crack, wite-outweed, and cocaine. He was also drunk on korona, heinken, white wine and red wine. Then he was hyper on Fanta, Coke, Pepsi, Gingerell, Coffee, and whatever the fuck that has caffiene. THAT VOLDEMORT IS A CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!

Next to Voldemort were the girls from Fanta, singing 'Fanta Fantasy' as they went up against Voldemort doing sexy moves like the grind.

**At the Great Hall**

"Welcome back bitches! I'm surprised to see I'm still alive! ANYWAYS! HOGWARTS IS GOING TO ADD A COLLEGE!" screamed Dumbledore.

"ALRIGHT I GET TO STAY AT HOGWARTS MORE!" cried Harry as tears went into his eyes.

"I'M JUST FUCKING WITH YALL! NO COLLEGE FOR YOU! You can go to a Muggle College if you want, we have fake secondary school records and elementary borrowed by our fellow muggle friends if you want to live the muggle and wizard life dudes!" announced Dumbledore. "Now it's time for the Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts song!"

"Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts, we love you so much. You bring us great sexing, orgys, and parties. You make us happy and feel loved with our friends. We love you Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts. Bye bye!" sung the Hogwarts people.

Harry sang the song like a prayer.

"Okay first year people! When I call your name you go up to the stool and I put 'dis hat on j00. Okay?" asked Minerva.

**At the Gryffindor Table**

"Hey, y'know that chick over there?" asked Beast Boy. He pointed at Minerva. "IS SO NOT HOT!"

Ron and Hermione laughed like crazy.

"GOD DAMMIT BEAST BOY YOU SAID THIS SHIT LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY DAMMIT!" screamed Robin. Everyone looked at him.

"SHUT UP TRAFFIC LIGHT! Why don't you go out with Alien? Alien and Traffic Light forever!" cried Draco.

"Oh who the fuck asked you, freak!" cried Robin.

"You're the freak Traffic Light! Let's get this on!" shouted Draco.

"Bring it on, sissy Brit' boy!" cried Robin.

"BITCHES!" screamed Dumbledore. "Let us not bitch fight like cat fights but party and celerbrate for the new year!"

"Awww," said Robin as he calmed down. So did Draco.

**At the Hufflepuff Table**

Starfire watched Turk as she made out with a life size plastic doll of her boyfriend Larry.

"OH GOD LARRY I WANT YOU!" screamed Turk. Her nipples got so hard you can even see it as Hagrid.

"EWWW NIPPLES! STOP BEING HARD!" cried Hagrid as he covered his eyes.

"LARRY!" mourned Turk. Starfire just watched her.

"WE NEVER GOT TO SEE THE HOUSE ELVES IN FRONT OF READERS!" screamed Starfire.

"Later!" said Turk.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! NOW!" screamed Starfire like a 5 year old who is very spoiled.

Turk turned to her with her brown eyes now green.

"THAT'S A BAD WORD STARFIRE! CURSING BAD! CURSING EVIL!" screamed Turk.

Starfire just started crying like crazy. An evil thought came to her head. She would sneak out and see the house elves by herself.

**At the Ravenclaw Table**

Cyborg sighed, he read a hot sex book. He wish Cho was here so he can do all the hot things in the book.

"Cheer up Gaybot," said Gizmo. "I can be your new fuck buddy."

"Hell no! You queer little white boy!" said Cyborg.

"Please! Mammoth has turned straight and I'm the only sguiggly!" cried Gizmo.

"Trogdor? Where! I like that song!" said Cyborg.

"You suck!" said Gizmo.

"No! You suck!" said Blackfire. "I'll be your new fuck buddy til Cho comes back. I haven't had any in 17 years."

"Okay!" said Cyborg.

**At the Slytherin Table**

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" asked Blood.

"I dunno, go away!" said Raven.

"Awww," said Blood. He kissed Nikki, then Poly.

"WELL BITCHES!" sscreamed Dumbledore. "It's time to go to bed! Good night!"

Everyone then left the Great Hall.

End of Chapter 3


End file.
